sfredbook "Affair vs Hobby - which is better and why?"

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Skinba* (18 posts) 13-Mar-01, 04:57 PM (PDT) "Affair vs Hobby - which is better and why?" OK Guys, we all know most of us are married or otherwise involved. For myself, I seldom see the same provider more than 2-3 times as this starts to feel like "an affair", even with $$ involved. I know, I'm messed up. But for me, the sin is less if it is purely sex, and not a "relationship". Which is also part of the attraction for me - lots of quantity with different gals. So compare and contrast guys - do you hobby and cheat? Why one over the other? Skin   Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

RE: Affair vs Hobby - which is better and why?, avleanna*, 05:08 PM, 13-Mar-01, (1) RE: Affair vs Hobby - which is better and why?, Honest B*, 06:40 PM, 13-Mar-01, (2) RE: Affair vs Hobby - which is better and why?, player42*, 06:53 PM, 13-Mar-01, (3) RE: Affair vs Hobby - which is better and why?, GPenn, 07:21 PM, 13-Mar-01, (4) RE: Affair vs Hobby - which is better and why?, TD*, 07:26 PM, 13-Mar-01, (5) RE: Affair vs Hobby - which is better and why?, Skinba*, 08:17 PM, 13-Mar-01, (7) RE: Affair vs Hobby - which is better and why?, Ms_Magic, 09:08 PM, 13-Mar-01, (8) RE: Affair vs Hobby - which is better and why?, GPenn, 10:38 PM, 13-Mar-01, (10) Personal experience, Ms_Magic, 10:59 PM, 13-Mar-01, (11) RE: Affair vs Hobby - which is better and why?, fun4me, 08:16 PM, 13-Mar-01, (6) How serious is your marriage?, Faye_Desiree, 09:40 PM, 13-Mar-01, (9)

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avleanna* (3 posts) 13-Mar-01, 05:08 PM (PDT) 1. "RE: Affair vs Hobby - which is better and why?" I agree completely. The whole concept is twofold, better physical quality than I have at home, and variety. If I see someone too oftn the variety lacks. Plus if I don't see a provider too many times there is less chance of an emotional bond which is not what I'm seeking. I have to admit some of the top quality providers make me rethink my stance.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Honest B* (301 posts) 13-Mar-01, 06:40 PM (PDT) 2. "RE: Affair vs Hobby - which is better and why?" I think he meant even with the $$$ not the $$ !   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

player42* (1 posts) 13-Mar-01, 06:53 PM (PDT) 3. "RE: Affair vs Hobby - which is better and why?" I'd like stats to see if there are more married or single guys. I'm single but not in any relationship. This has become a hobby. Get's kinda of lonely some times. The sex is good, but sometimes I like the conversation, sort of "rent a girlfriend" for an hour..I've seen same provider three times and plan to once a month.. am I getting hooked, no.. but I need some emotional attachment. If I was married, an affair is too much risk and too much emotional attachements, this hobby is by far better than an affair..   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

GPenn (152 posts) 13-Mar-01, 07:21 PM (PDT) 4. "RE: Affair vs Hobby - which is better and why?" I see providers, I have sex with friends, and I've had intense emotional affairs; all with my wife's knowledge and consent. The intense affairs were a little scary at times for her, but nothing severe, just as her extra-curricular activities have never seriously thrown me. But the affairs were more than *I* could handle -- when the last one ended with me suicidal, I swore off. There's definitely an element of middle-aged "use it before I lose it, party while I can" fear in there too. When I started seeing providers it was an unthreatening and reassuringly fun follow-up to the disastrous affair. Now I find the sex with the providers I'm seeing more deeply meaningful than the more casual fun I have with some of my friends. I'm not in love with the providers, but I love them, consider them friends, and am deeply grateful for the healing and ecstasy they' offer me. Hobby or affair (cheat doesn't apply)? Because I feel much happier and more at peace seeing providers.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

TD* (38 posts) 13-Mar-01, 07:26 PM (PDT) 5. "RE: Affair vs Hobby - which is better and why?" How about both. In my case I have become very close to a certain provider to the point of actually having an affair with her. I still pay, but at "quantity discounts". The sex has become amazing and I have had the chance to fulfill many of my top fantasies. I really enjoy the closeness. Although I will admit that it is a real challenge sometimes keeping up both relationships. But so far the good outweighs the bad. One thing is that she is really cool about being discrete, as she knows that if I got caught, the affair would be over. In the meantime I plan on riding the wave as long as I can. TD   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Skinba* (18 posts) 13-Mar-01, 08:17 PM (PDT) 7. "RE: Affair vs Hobby - which is better and why?" I've clearly struck a nerve - please continue. I agree about the emotional closeness. At times, I've wanted to ask more from a provider, but did not in fear she would reveal this was just business for her. e.g. the closeness is just an act.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Ms_Magic (375 posts) 13-Mar-01, 09:08 PM (PDT) 8. "RE: Affair vs Hobby - which is better and why?" You'll never know how she feels unless you ask. Life is about risks. If you feel a special connection with your favorite provider, ask her out on a date and go from there. Re. the initial question, I strongly believe that the hobby is much easier than having an affair. An affair involves emotions and expectations, especially expections. If you can't spend the amount of time with your companion that she wants, I would think that the strain on the relationship can be quite high and frustrating for one or both of you.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

GPenn (152 posts) 13-Mar-01, 10:38 PM (PDT) 10. "RE: Affair vs Hobby - which is better and why?" You hit on something there, Ms. M. It was the expectations in my case. Despite the fact that we were both married to others (who both knew of our affair), and we had agreed on what the boundaries were up front, our expectations of each other and where the affair was going became wildly divergent. When I'm with Faye, my heart is definitely involved, but I don't feel that level of expectation of her, and I don't feel her expectations weighing on me. We do have certain expectations (if I didn't expect a good interaction, I wouldn't come back and she wouldn't welcome me, and I certainly hope that by now she expects that I will treat her with love and respect), but it doesn't get to that corrosive level of "I expect you to do or be or want all these things for me, or I will be hurt and angry".   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Ms_Magic (375 posts) 13-Mar-01, 10:59 PM (PDT) 11. "Personal experience" What can I say......been there, done that. I wasn't going to admit to it but what do I have to lose? His wife allowed him to play around and we really hit it off. If he wasn't going to see me as a client then I wanted more. Those EXPECTATIONS. Unfortunately, his life was quite busy and fulfilled before I entered into the picture and he refused to adjust much to fit me in. There come the disappointments, hurt, unmet expectations, etc. At a minimum, if you don't have the time to have a meaningful relationship, ie, affair, keep it simple and stick with the hobby!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

fun4me (12 posts) 13-Mar-01, 08:16 PM (PDT) 6. "RE: Affair vs Hobby - which is better and why?" Hobby for me affiars get so very messy. Why bother with all of the emotional stuff, besides your girl will know when somethings up! At least thats my experience. I like the excitement of sneaking around and finding the perfect provider experience.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Faye_Desiree (858 posts) 13-Mar-01, 09:40 PM (PDT) 9. "How serious is your marriage?" I think you've gotta assess how much you wnat your marriage to hold together. Both work. You're probably a lot less likely to fall in love with a provider, though you may have the hots for her. With an affair, it often leads to a much deeper emotional attachment - and we all know sex is so much hotter and intense if the heart is also involved. It's a tradeoff. Are you willing to risk losing your marriage if your heart gets TOO involved in an affair? Lotsa times affairs just happen cuz there's a whole in your emotional, as well as sexual, connection with your partner. Faye Desiree   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

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