sfredbook "What's your real name?"

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budfugger (10 posts) 11-Apr-01, 01:09 AM (PDT) "What's your real name?" I was with a provider the other day and something out of the ordinary occurred. She asked me what my real name was. The question took me by surprise. I assume that she has caller i.d. on her cell phone, so she knew that I wasn't using my real name. Still the question sort of shocked me. I use a different name not to deceive someone, but as a layer of detachment to protect myself from becoming emotionally involved. I've been a hobbyist for several years and I know from experience that things can get f***ed up if your heart is on your sleeve. My question to providers and hobbyists is this: when you know the other's real name and they know yours, is the provider/hobbyist relationship more intimate, or is it just part of a casual conversation?   Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

RE: What's your real name?, fornick8*, 10:58 AM, 11-Apr-01, (1) RE: What's your real name?, budfugger, 12:41 PM, 11-Apr-01, (2) RE: What's your real name?, Strong, 04:05 PM, 11-Apr-01, (3) RE: What's your real name?, Big_John, 00:05 AM, 12-Apr-01, (4) RE: What's your real name?, escritic, 09:14 AM, 12-Apr-01, (5) RE: What's your real name?, Ms_Magic, 05:58 PM, 12-Apr-01, (6) Thanks for the input Ms. Magic, budfugger, 06:35 PM, 12-Apr-01, (7) RE: Thanks for the input Ms. Magic, Strong, 07:13 PM, 12-Apr-01, (8) RE: Thanks for the input Ms. Magic, SunnyDale*, 07:35 PM, 12-Apr-01, (9) Real name, Ms_Magic, 11:58 PM, 13-Apr-01, (10) I went to lunch with someone..., TheGreek, 11:33 AM, 14-Apr-01, (11) I have seen two, jitrudi (NLI)*, 02:13 PM, 24-Apr-01, (12)

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fornick8* (0 posts) 11-Apr-01, 10:58 AM (PDT) 1. "RE: What's your real name?" Maybe just tired of calling you "budfugger". He He   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

budfugger (10 posts) 11-Apr-01, 12:41 PM (PDT) 2. "RE: What's your real name?" cute   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Strong (853 posts) 11-Apr-01, 04:05 PM (PDT) 3. "RE: What's your real name?" I will usually give out my real name because it's a very common name. Nobody has ever asked that I can remember because I hardly see anyone more than once.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Big_John (40 posts) 12-Apr-01, 00:05 AM (PDT) 4. "RE: What's your real name?" I was with a girl recently and she saw I had a necklace on with a pendant with a "J" on it. (Chinese style) She asked if my name was really John. I said yes. She said she always thought guys were lying when they said their name is John. I don't give out last name though. I don't really care if the girl gives me her real name either. Big John   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

escritic (1384 posts) 12-Apr-01, 09:14 AM (PDT) 5. "RE: What's your real name?" So your initial is... I am Small Johnson. So my initial is SJ I know I know... I am immature.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Ms_Magic (471 posts) 12-Apr-01, 05:58 PM (PDT) 6. "RE: What's your real name?" I think asking for your real name when you're already together is inconsiderate. Some providers ask for your name, work no., etc as part of their screening process. Once you're together I feel it's off limits. I've had clients that I've known for a long time eventually reveal their real first name and I tell them "It's too late. I know you as XXXX and it's going to stay that way". LOL Michelle Michelle's Magic   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

budfugger (10 posts) 12-Apr-01, 06:35 PM (PDT) 7. "Thanks for the input Ms. Magic" I know a provider who actually uses her real name. In your opinion, do you think that she may be creating problems for herself by not using a different name? Anyone, feel free to throw in your .02.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Strong (853 posts) 12-Apr-01, 07:13 PM (PDT) 8. "RE: Thanks for the input Ms. Magic" I don't think it would make any difference if the girl used her real first name. It's the last name I would think that is more important. If Michelle was Ms. Magic's real first name it wouldn't reveal who she really was. How many Michelle's are there? Tons I would think. The girl doesn't need to know my last name. That's where I personally would draw the line.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

SunnyDale* (0 posts) 12-Apr-01, 07:35 PM (PDT) 9. "RE: Thanks for the input Ms. Magic" I'm more afraid of using my real name in here than I am at an AMP.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Ms_Magic (471 posts) 13-Apr-01, 11:58 PM (PDT) 10. "Real name" If a provider wants to use her real name, who's to stop her? It's what she's comfortable with. I think many use ficticious (sp?) names to separate their personal and business lives. Michelle Michelle's Magic   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

TheGreek (284 posts) 14-Apr-01, 11:33 AM (PDT) 11. "I went to lunch with someone..." whom I met in her provider persona. It's a long story, but the upshot is that I was going to show her around my office, and she had to sign in. While I was saying to the receptionist, "<insert receptionist's name here>, this is <insert working name here>", she wrote down her real name! Being quick on my feet, I completed the introduction by saying, "uh, umm" and barely keeping from laughing. I've known providers who use a working name because they like it or feel a connection to it, use their real names because they feel it's safer in case they bump into their clients at a public setting or don't care, or maybe started with their real names but changed to a ficticious one for a number of different reasons. The point is, there's no rule to be followed because everybody is different and has different motivations.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

jitrudi (NLI)* (2 posts) 24-Apr-01, 02:13 PM (PDT) 12. "I have seen two" providers have their names alluded to or outed hereon redbook since I have been hanging around. In both cases the purpose was to hurt... I know that one of those instances still exists in archive so I wont reveal too much, but there are a couple of providers that are very quick to share too much informtion...some of you equate that with GFE...yes I know that is not what GFE is...LOl...but by revealing your real name if you are a provider you run the risk of the stalker using that as his power card...and it seems like many of the women I have met in this world have a moment of stalker here and there...No? I have revealed myself to two providers who are regulars on this board...one was to help her with a question she had about business and it was easier for me to communicate with her via my wotk email addy, she never misused it, and has not contacted me since our discussion concluded...too bad as I miss her voice both her and in my email, the other I have just done so with and think that this will be fine for the business we have to discuss. As I have mentioned I have dated a couple of well known providers on this board, outside of the lifestyle, and they have met my daughter, spent the night and know how to get hold of me. My name is unique and I am somewhat out in the public, although less so these days. I have never had my trust tested! YMMV   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

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