sfredbook "Is it worth the risk?"

Printer-friendly version of this topic Bookmark this topic (Registered users only)		Previous Topic | Next Topic
Conferences Red Book Diaries (Public)
Original message

Oort Cloud* (1 posts) 26-Apr-01, 11:45 PM (PDT) "Is it worth the risk?" I've been seeing a well-known provider (at an SF AMP) off and on for about 4 years now. (by "seeing" I mean in the business sense). On a number of occasions, she seems to have expressed interest in seeing me outside of the AMP. (i.e. asking questions like: "can you imagine me as your girlfriend", "I would like to date you since you won't disrespect me because of what I do" .. and similar) I was skeptical. She's very attractive and could probably have any man she wants. So why would she be interested in me? I also asked if she was looking for an "arrangement".. no answer (perhaps she didn't understand). I never asked her out but continued visiting her at the AMP. A short while ago I called her up and asked if she wanted to go out on a "real date". That is, one in which I didn't pay for her time. She said "yes, but I'm going on vacation soon so it'll have to be in the next couple of days or after I return." I opted to wait until she returned. She left me a message yesterday.. she's back from vacation. I do detect some sincerity in her, but even if she is interested, we're two completely different people. She's much more outgoing than I am. We recently talked about any interests we might have in common. Answer: -none-. But she knows me somewhat though, even if it's only from my visits to her AMP. She knows that I'm quiet sometimes and told me how she thought my being quiet meant that I didn't like her. She knows that I love programming and computer-related activities, but doesn't own a machine herself. I've seen other providers before, but the thought of attempting a real friendship/relationship with any of them never crossed my mind, I'm just seeing them to have sex. I'm not so sure I even want to go out on a date with *this* girl either. Something just doesn't add up. And do I even want to date somebody who's in her line of business? On the other hand, she's very beautiful, is bright, and wonderfully sexy. In many ways, the kind of woman I'd like spend some serious time with. I realize that it's just a date, and that I shouldn't invest so much until something actually materializes. She's been on my mind all through her vacation though. Now I realize that I've missed her in a way. What do you people out there think? Thanks.   Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

RE: Is it worth the risk?, ElephantBalls, 01:07 AM, 27-Apr-01, (1) RE: Is it worth the risk?, Dazed, 01:29 AM, 27-Apr-01, (2) RE: Is it worth the risk?, nightowl31, 01:47 AM, 27-Apr-01, (3) RE: Is it worth the risk?, TheBopper, 09:20 AM, 27-Apr-01, (4)

Lobby | Topics | Previous Topic | Next Topic

Messages in this topic

ElephantBalls (69 posts) 27-Apr-01, 01:07 AM (PDT) 1. "RE: Is it worth the risk?" I have the perfect solution. To save you all this angst, how about if I go out on the date with her? I am sure we will have a great time, that she and I will have a lot in common, and that we will have wild, passionate sex until the sun comes up. We will keep you posted on things -- to show you how right you are, that you really do not have much in common and that it would be a waste to pursue this with her. What do you say? By the way, can you spot me $2,000 for the first date -- dinner, champagne, dancing, and clubbing can be expensive. Thanks bro!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Dazed (6 posts) 27-Apr-01, 01:29 AM (PDT) 2. "RE: Is it worth the risk?" What is it that you are risking? You say that you have a chance to have a social interaction with a woman who could have her choice of men and she chose you. Why not try to have fun? You are aware of the ways that she is not like you and that your interests are different from hers. As an older guy thinking about how nice it feels to play the gentleman to a beautiful womans lady, I see your date as a no lose situation. I don't know if you should try to have sex right away, but I would want to score points by being able to remember something that she liked or was of interest to her (an interest you don't share based on what you have already stated about your differences) and make that thing or activity some part of the start of your date. Women love to be heard and noticed. Perhaps I am raving and need a med adjustment, but I see your situation as a no lose for you. If you don't have a great time, what have you lost? If she truly becomes a steady date, will that be bad for you? I admire you for putting yourself out there for something different to happen. Trust yourself, let her have the date she wants with the man that she is attracted to. Other people will soon let us know the problems that await you, in not knowing what those might be I am envious and hopeful for you.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

nightowl31 (24 posts) 27-Apr-01, 01:47 AM (PDT) 3. "RE: Is it worth the risk?" There has been a lot of discussion on this topic in previous threads. Read through the "Falling for a Provider" series (parts I-IV). Lots of opinions, perspectives, and things to think about. There is also some sound advice (IMO) from "The Bopper" under the topic of "Anyone Seen AMP Girls Socially," discussed below (posted April 6). At the very least, I think it is important that you are clear on what it is that you want out of this. I say this only because you seem to be fairly conflicted about just going out with her. If all you want is to spend some time with this person, get to know her better, interact in a different setting, etc., then go out with her. It's just a date, like you said. It also sounds like you might have some issues when it comes to having a relationship with a provider. There is a lot of discussion on this under "You Can't Handle the Truth?" as well as one or two other topics in the Conversatory. FYI, I had the same thing happen about eight years ago. Short version: a provider at an MP, who I had been seeing for a couple of years, asked me out. I had many of the same feelings and questions you have indicated (nothing in common, why me?, etc.). I just decided to take it one step at a time. We had a lot of fun together. We continued going out over the next several months, splitting time between each other's place after she would get off work. Eventually, she moved in with me and we lived together for about four years. Things didn't work out, and the relationship ended. We're still friends, and still see each other occasionally. Good luck. Keep us posted on what happens.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

TheBopper (193 posts) 27-Apr-01, 09:20 AM (PDT) 4. "RE: Is it worth the risk?" I agree with Nightowl (how could I not when he complements one of my earlier posts). You really need to determine what you want, but if you just want to date to have fun, I don't see any issue. I've done this with several AMP ladies and have had some moderate successful relationships and have had a couple of relations develop into good friendships (no longer any sex in these relationships). If you're main goal is to try and see her away from the AMP for sex without pay or more sex, I wouldn't recommend that. You definitely have to have some interest in spending time with her, be it to learn more about her culture, or she makes you laugh, or whatever. If the girl wants you to take her out, she wants you to treat her like a girl friend, and not just someone where the only interest is sex. As I have stated in previous posts, I have had a couple of occassions where a relationship reached the next level, and then we broke up, and the girl no longer wanted me to be her client. It can also be embarrassing going back to the AMP where she works because she will very likely have told all the other people that she dated you. So if she is an ATF and you think you want her to be your AMP provider for a long time, you may want to keep the relationship purely business. Feel free to email me if you have specific questions you want to take offline: thebopper51@yahoo.com.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Lock | Archive | Remove

Lobby | Topics | Previous Topic | Next Topic