sfredbook "to thebopper - mea culpa"

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dox (23 posts) 23-Apr-01, 01:23 PM (PDT) "to thebopper - mea culpa" just read your response in ms_magic's "where the men/boys are" thread. you're right that i shouldn't have generalized. i warn others in my posts in making sweeping generalizations and i made one myself. it was in the middle of the night and i just posted something without thinking through it. all these threads about provider/client relationships trigger another question for me: i didn't get much response to my earlier post regarding "breakfast at tiffany's", but i wonder how central a part the tiffany/susie wong/pretty woman fantasy play in the hobbiests' motive in seeing providers. specifically, do you guys harbor any fantasies that you might be able to develop something more than the money-for-sex relationship with your ATF?   Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

complex relationships, jitrudi, 02:03 PM, 23-Apr-01, (1) RE: to thebopper - mea culpa, TheBopper, 09:51 AM, 24-Apr-01, (2) RE: to thebopper - mea culpa, escritic, 10:23 AM, 24-Apr-01, (3)

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jitrudi (40 posts) 23-Apr-01, 02:03 PM (PDT) 1. "complex relationships" sex is a very complicated subject. duh, right? If a thread started on why people say they are into pay to play relationships you may get some general feel for the game, but indeed it is more then that. because what we say and believe are our motivations are not always our motivations...and many here (judging from posts) are not as romantic about this hobby as others.. When I lived in Bkk, and would sit with all of the other long term punters and expats, it would amuse us to watch the tourists come and go. Kids in a candy store, out of control would be the best bet. Most would just come and go, safe exploration if you will. others would start writing letters to bargirls sending money thinking hooker with a heart of gold and not understanding the different dimension that the culture had placed these workers in. (By the way, I used to write many of those letters for the girls...as did many other regulars). Some of these guys brought their wives here (many of your fav workers in AMP's- many are normal housewives), some moved to Bkk and live in Thailand now. Some got sucked dry for money, some fell in love reality set in and left broken hearted. We felt immune from all of that, being as we were big studly inside-baseball kinda expat barowners...nah...everyone I knew got just what everyone anywhere gets when mixing up sex and love...confused! some folks win and some don't many move on some don't. Customers and workers do have a unique barrier and one provider on this board summed it up with the quote (my grandmother used to say something similar, about goys and jews)that one day he is going to call you a whore in an argument... In that other thread I mentioned that I have dated some of the providers in this area, for me I am more comfortable with women of the Demi-monde, do I delude myself as to who or what I am or what these relationships could be, Yes sometimes, othertimes no...Am I looking for an ego boost when I date a working woman? No, I am looking for someone from my society and peer group so I dont have to censure my past, but my peer group is a bad one to date in...because sex makes for complex relationships. just my ramble for the day...   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

TheBopper (182 posts) 24-Apr-01, 09:51 AM (PDT) 2. "RE: to thebopper - mea culpa" Dox, Thanks for your message; I feel like a celebrity seeing a post specifically directed to me. As far as your question, I usually visit AMPs because I feel they are the best deal going. If I have seen a girl several times, our conversation gets more involved in what our mutual interests are, and I feel like there is some connection, I will usually pursue seeing her outside the AMP. Usually, there is no interest on the girl's part, but I have met a few girls where we got together. I am not looking to rescue the girl, but just looking to have a more meaningful sexual relationship with her because we connect on a social basis. To me, sex has much more passion if I have spent the evening with the girl having dinner, a movie, etc, and then having sex. Most of the time, a sexual relationship doesn't develop, as the girls want to separate their work from their social life. If you become friends, she no longer wants you as a client unless she feels you are really the one for her. A couple of times, a "boyfriend/girlfriend" relationship has formed, but only for a short term basis, the longest lasting 8 months. I am pretty honest about the fact that I don't anticipate that a long term relationship could be successful with one of these girls. I currently know 4 girls that I still see purely as a friend, getting together occasionally for dinner, sometimes helping them if they need assistance, etc., but these relationships are plutonic. Any relationship that developed and we become "lovers" broke off and I no longer see the girl on any basis. On the original post that triggered your reply, I still believe I could have a very meaningful relationship with a woman, even though I am divorced and in my late 40s. Right now in my life, I don't have the time or proper attitude to pursue it. Like Ms. Magic, I'm not quite sure how I will attempt to find the girl once I pursue that, but online matchmaking like match.com may be where I start.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

escritic (1377 posts) 24-Apr-01, 10:23 AM (PDT) 3. "RE: to thebopper - mea culpa" I don't see why this kind of relationship can't work out. After all, the client and the provider are man and woman, human beings with emotion. Sure, we can develop sophisticated system to examine every variables and the correlations. I think it all comes back to several points: 1) How much do you want to have a relationship with this person? 2) Are you ready for a relationship (commitment, dedication, etc)? 3) What are your true feelings for this person? 4) Can you accept who this person is (client, provider, nerd, hypocrite, etc) For the original post from the "where the men/boys are" thread, you may find something you really like when you open up your mind. What do you want? A man with intelligence, good look, decent personality, and rich? There is this Chinese saying, "You can be choosy. But other people are choosy too." Just my two cents for the day.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

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