I only met you once, and can't speak to anything but having a positive experience and my own impressions. I'm very sure you are NOT on drugs, it was obvious that you take too good care of yourself for drugs to be part of your life. It was also obvious how important your kids were to you, and how close you were to them. Again, you have my deepest sympathies!I also have sympathy for you in that you felt compelled to open up so much of your life to so many people, most of whom are strangers, and have now become the subject for critisism. Try to understand that while some people are not seemingly sympathetic, there are others here who do appreciate that you are trying to improve relationships with your clients, and who do care about about you as a person!
My family has gone through a lot of deaths over the last couple of years, seemingly more than in the past, and starting with a first cousin (and her 4-year-old son) who died in car accident, and continuing on with my father, other cousins, aunts and uncles, and close family friends. The reason this is significant is that my sister, who is clinically depressed, has been exhibiting similar behavior; she makes promises which she has every intention of keeping, and decides at the last minute that she just can't do it and disappears. Since her self-esteem is also involved, and she feels terrible every time she breaks her commitments, she gets worse. The good news is that therapy has been helping her with these problems lately.
The point is, and you don't have to (and shouldn't) answer it on this board, have you (and your other family members) had any grief counseling yet? It does help, and sometimes we don't even know how much we need it! We (those in my family) didn't get it, and have suffered the consequenses; I for one didn't even think I had problems, but now recognize I did and still do.
Anyway, good luck. You can email me if you would like, and I can give you the benifit of my experience or lend you an ear if you need it. Also, there are all sorts of people who post here, some who can give you names of therapists to see (or are therapists themselves), and other sorts of help.
Everybody else should keep in mind that when Leanne has gone through a terrible loss, and try to be more supportive instead of being so critical!
Printer-friendly version of this topic
Bookmark this topic (Registered users only)
General Discussion (Public)
