to the tune of:
"What shall we do with a drunken sailor?"

What shall we do with an early popper?
What shall we do with an early popper?
What shall we do with an early popper?
While he has some time left.

Light a cigar and puff it plenty,
Light a cigar and puff it plenty,
Light a cigar and puff it plenty,
He'll go out for air soon.

Pour him a glass of double bourbon,
Pour him a glass of double bourbon,
Pour him a glass of double bourbon,
Help him put his pants on.

Say there's a hole in the freakin' condom,
Say there's a hole in the freakin' condom,
Say there's a hole in the freakin' condom,
That'll get him leaving.

Put on your clothes and get out quickly,
Put on your clothes and get out quickly,
Put on your clothes and get out quickly,
While he has his pants off.

Copyright 2002 Early Popper

Or at least that would be my pick out of the choices you gave. I would probably add another option

Make him DATY* for the rest of the hour
Make him DATY for the rest of the hour
Make him DATY for the rest of the hour
And learn how to please a woman

Of course, this is presuming he's a one hit wonder. I've had many clients who were just getting started at the first pop. The record being 5 times in just under an hour and a half. It's not impossible. And many who can't still want to spend the rest of the hour trying.

* note- this needs to be read as an acronym. Too many syllables if you say each letter.

ƒK